We Left Cao Bang and Entered Ha Noi with a BANG!

I swear from now on all of my stories are going to start with -"This one time...in VIET NAM...." so as I mentioned Cao Bang was a pleasant experience. It was great to work with such wonderful and loving students and sad to leave them behind to go to Ha Noi. Remember I said appointments and times don't really stick around here- so we were scheduled to leave Cao Bang to Ha Noi on Saturday which would be tomorrow. Instead we were told we would be leaving right after the closing ceremony of the class which would end around 4pm Thursday. What an abrupt ending for us and the students but we made the best of it.

By 3pm we were done with everything and given the choice to join Anh, Chuyen, Dung, his wife, the local reporter, and the bus driver to visit someone some 30KM away or wait for them to return in a few hours then take off to Ha Noi. We opted to stay, pack, have some dinner, and relax before taking that 7+hr ride down the mountain. So back to the hotel we went. We hung out at the downstairs cafe a bit while we attempted to convince Hannah she should skip out on doing her dissertation work for the weekend and join us for a free ride back to Ha Noi. She was planning to go to Ha Noi later so we figured she should take advantage of the opportunity to go in a bus with more space and good working ac- we convinced her! She said it would be nice not to have to sit next to people who always get car sick and vomit for 7hrs so we all agreed we would meet at around 530pm for dinner and Hannah left home to pack. The rest of us went up to our rooms to pack and rest a bit. Anh said they would be back to pick us up after 6pm. We figured it would be more like 7pm. We packed and rested. Somewhere in between, Viet called Hannah to ask us to dinner but we declined. We had already said our tearful goodbyes and wanted to have our own dinner wherever we wanted without having our food selected for us.

545pm and Hannah was downstairs waiting for us. We thought we better not leave for dinner because Anh could show up with the bus at any minute and be waiting for us. Carly and Karyna checked out of their room and put everything in our room. We sat around and chatted a bit and then there was a knock at the door- Vy and her friend Nhuan came by to drop off some paperwork for us to give to Anh. We invited them in and chatted some more then Hannah got a phone call- someone was telling her that Anh and the group would be a little later than they originally thought. Perhaps they would be back closer to 9pm instead. Well what a perfect opportunity to go have dinner! We rounded each other up and decided to go have a meal but then Viet called and said she was coming to get us to go to dinner- oh! We waited a few minutes then headed downstairs to meet her. This is when we should've known the night was just getting started and it was definitely going to be an exciting one!!!!

A midget looking van showed up to pick us up with 2 front seats and a very short back seat. hmmmm, there were 9 of us (including the driver) for a 5 seater van. As we were trying to figure out the math and logic of fitting into the van, Viet shoved all of us gals- Hannah, Carly, Karyna, and I- into the back seat on top of one another, gave her motorbike keys to her daughter Vy and told her to drive herself and Nhuan to the restaurant, then shoved Scott into the front seat and sat under or on top of him, slammed the door shut and told the driver to take us to the restaurant. WOW!!!! All squished into this midget van and I hear Scott say "Hi Viet, nice to meet you. I'm a nice guy so you have nothing to worry about. I know you are married" hahahaha, and we all busted out, crackin up but not too much that we might burst out the sides of the van! Oh dear hold on because we were going for a ride the rest of the night and well into the morning!

We made it to the restaurant and it was a nice one. No ac for us, just fans, but it was nice. The menu (which I wanted to take with me but I put it back at the last minute) was very interesting. There was the regular stuff like fish, chicken, buffalo, pork, beef, shrimp... and then there was turtle, bees, and snails..hmmmm.... We thought it would be fun to try some fried bees so we ordered some of that. I didn't know what else was ordered until the food started coming- ooooh fresh water snails, SURPRISE!!! I was eager to try the bees but wasn't sure if I could get past the idea of eating them. And the snails? Uh, I wasn't too sure about that one...

The bees and larvae were more visibly recognizable than I was hoping they would be but I gave it a try- although it took me a good while.

I took one bee to sample but it just looked too much like a bee for me to stick into my mouth. I tried some of the little crispy pieces of bee from the plate to test out the flavor. It was yummy but still the idea of sticking a bee into my mouth was messing with my mind.

I finally decided to wrap it in some chicken and shove it in my mouth quickly to avoid thinking about it too much- hmmm, mmmm, interesting taste! I tried a few more of the smaller bees that didn't look so much like bees. It was as if I could taste the pollen or something. There was a flowery taste about them. I'm glad I gave it a try, although I'm not sure I would eat them again.

Then the plate of fresh water snails came. I saw the plate and in my head thought "oooh baby repollo, that's what that is!"

I grabbed one and took a closer look then asked what it was because it definitely didn't look like any kind of veggie up close. Fresh water snails, said Hannah. Ohhhh, uh, oh oh, hmmm....Ok, here I go- CHOMP! Then I thought of the movie Lion King when little Simba eats bugs and says "slimey, yet satisfying".... but I thought "Rubbery yet edible" and decided I could do the fresh water snails better than eating bees, although the flavor of the bees was much better than the snails. Oh how the mind can mess with you!

But dinner was great! The conversation was interesting, the food was fun, and the company in general was pleasant. It was almost 9pm and Scott said we should head back to the hotel because Anh would be on her way and wouldn't be able to find us. We told Viet we would just walk back on our own instead of piling into the van. We said our goodbyes again and Vy and Nhuan walked us back. Scott was super chipper and the gals were making sure he stayed out of traffic's way. We stopped at Trung and Nga's restaurant, friends of Hannah that she introduced us to after we complained about the hotel food being very limited. I left Nga a few items and we said our goodbyes to the couple there as well. We arrived back at the hotel after 9pm tired and ready for bed. Vy and Nhuan said goodbye and we all found a spot in the room to sit and wait around for Anh to arrive. Perhaps we should just stay for the night because it was really late to be driving down the mountain with an exhausted bus driver. The bus driver had been driving people around all day and we were sure they all had to be drinking wherever they had gone to visit. We waited, watched some tv, and began to doze off. It was almost 10pm and we had heard nothing from Anh or Dung or anyone. Maybe they had gone back to Dung's for the night and we were leaving in the morning?

At 10pm I decided to call Anh from the hotel phone to see if we were still going to Ha Noi at that hour. I called and she said they were on their way and we should be ready to go in 10 minutes. Alritey-then!! I told the group Anh was on her way so we started the restroom rounds and got our luggage downstairs. Goodbye Cao Bang!

By the time I got down to the lobby, Anh was there and looking very tired. Are you sure we should go now? She said the bus was downstairs and we could go ahead and load up- OK! We packed up the bus and found our seats. Not bad- we had plenty of room where we could actually take turns lying down a while, sweet! I was still a bit worried about the bus driver though. I asked Anh if he had been drinking and that it was illegal to drink and drive in The States and I was worried about having someone drunk drive me down a windy mountain. She said he wasn't drunk. Well I didn't believe that but we took off anyway! As we were driving away Hannah informed us that Anh said we would be picking up 2 more people on the way- OFC we would! Viet Nam! Every time we've taken a road trip we end up with more people than we have seats for so this wasn't surprising but it was a bummer because it was late and we were tired and looking forward to sleeping a bit. I asked where we would be picking people up- in town or later down the road. Anh said in town...although it ended up being quite a ways away.

We pulled up to some dark place and opened the door about 15min later and what do you know- 4 women were standing there waiting to board the bus! I told Hannah she should sit with Carly and I near the back and let the women share the seat with Scott- hee hee. I didn't feel like sleeping with someone I didn't know, even though I don't know Hannah too well either. Poor Scott, he got to sit at the edge of the seat with 3 of the women in his row. They threw the 4th woman up front in the 2nd row and off we went. It had to be 5 or 10 minutes later and the youngest gal who looked like a teenager but was probably at least 20yrs old, started puking!! OMG, the STENCH! We just started the drive- are you kidding me?!?!?!?! OMG it's going to be a looooong ride! Poor gal because it was only going to get worse.

Now a bit about the bus driver- in town he took the scenic route every time he had to drive us anywhere that day and he drove slower than my grandpa! (and for those of you who know grandpa- he drives SLOW! I never knew you could get a slow-driving ticket until he got one!) So we were looking at way more than the usual 7 hour drive for sure! And this guy wouldn't take any advice or directions from anyone, especially not any of us women. TDO!

So driving we went through the mountains and in the dark. An hour passed and the puking gal now had a partner! A second woman was puking. NOW I know why every single car I've been in has a bundle of little plastic bags in the back seat pockets! More plastic bags please! Dung was looking for more bags to give these women because they were filling them up fast- and the smell!!!!!!!! I dug around in my backpack and found my sanitizer spray- yay! I sprayed it around me and the seat. Carly asked me to spray her then I sprayed Karyna who was sitting behind me- ugh it STUNK in there!! At least the ac was running great even though it kept dripping water on Hannah, who said it was like the water torture technique, drip drip drip, driving her crazy!

As we were driving, the lights went on and Dung did some rearranging of people. He sat Scott up front with him and Anh then put his wife and the other woman in the second row. It was two little short hours into the trip and we pulled over to a "rest stop". The 2 sick women jumped out and heaved on the road while the guys went to have some tea and corn- whaaaat??? What are we doing? I looked over at the house/store we had stopped at and saw our bus driver resting on a bed while everyone else was having some tea and food. I just wanted to get to Ha Noi and go to sleeeeep, waaah!!! We had been up super early that morning to be ready to have breakfast with Anh and Dung at 7am which didn't pan out- I was TIRED!

I asked Anh if I could drive! She asked me if I knew how. Of course I do-- well at least I hope I remember, hee hee. She said fine and then I verified that the bus was automatic...nope! Oh shit, then no I can't drive sorry! I asked why Dung or the newspaper reporter from Cao Bang (I have NO IDEA why he came along to Ha Noi) didn't help drive and she said they didn't know how- oh great! By then the bus driver had gone from the bed to the seat of the bus and was snoring! The night was humid and it looked like rain any minute, the 2 dogs roaming the area kept growling at me, and Carly was being eaten by insects! Someone asked if we could just get a room in the next town and stay overnight so we could travel by day and be safe. There was lots of discussion then Anh said we should load up and continue to the next town. We woke up the bus driver and continued the drive......in the rain!

I knocked out somewhere in between that place and our next stop but I heard the driver had taken a wrong turn, that he was very tired, and something about finding or not finding a place to stay for the night. Suddenly the bus driver stopped the bus right where he was driving and went to sleep- huh? Poor Scott in the front row had no idea what was going on- stop, go, get off, get on, stand still, etc. I couldn't help but laugh.

So here we were in the middle of who knows where with no emergency lights on to warn oncoming or passing cars, just parked right where we were driving so the driver could sleep. We did this twice- that I remember anyway!

(Not sure whose foot that belongs to but I don't think it was mine...if it was then things are more serious than I thought because I'm the one who took the picture)

On the last night stop, there was discussion about staying put until daylight came so we could continue our journey. The problem was that it was sooooo hot and most of us couldn't stand sitting in one place sleeping, sweating, and getting bitten by bugs. The driver turned on the bus on the last stop and Scott hopped back in after taking a stretch. Everyone fell asleep and I fell asleep watching Scott sitting straight up looking ahead probably wondering why the bus was on and we weren't going anywhere. I laughed and looked up every once in a while watching him sit there and wait ever so patiently until he finally gave up and knocked out too.

It had to be around 5am when I woke up to find 3 of the women standing outside the bus huddled together around my head (I had placed my backpack on the end of my seat on top of a box to sleep on which was very near the door) giggling and pointing at me. WTF!!! I sat up and they laughed and laughed- they wanted to know what the hell I had around my neck! My neck pillow! They thought it was just the funniest looking thing ever! One woman gestured that I should give it to her and laughed. I looked around and hollered that we should go! A few others woke up and finally the driver was up and off we went. That 1 woman gesturing me about the pillow stretched her hand back and grabbed my pillow in seconds, so fast that I didn't have time to react! She placed it around her neck and leaned back then laughed and laughed. I laughed with her and told her she could keep it. She played with it a while then gave it back and kept laughing. Too funny! I wonder what people really think of us out here in Viet Nam- it's gotta be a great time to get into their heads and see us from their eyes!

A few minutes into our drive we pulled over and the driver hopped out. Now what? He ran off to the side of the road and started peeing- I got a picture of his back and showed the women who couldn't stop giggling. At least they weren't throwing up anymore. The driver was back on board and we were on our way to Ha Noi. He was feeling great, awake, and ready to deliver us to the crazy busy city of Ha Noi- yay finally!!!!!! We couldn't be too far away- it was 5 or 6am, we had left a little after 10pm the night before, and we had driven at least 4-5 hours already. It just couldn't be too much longer at all.

I knocked out again and this time HARD! I didn't hear or see a thing for hours. I felt a little safer knowing it was daylight and more people were awake to watch the road and help the driver stay awake. What a night! Yay, finally all was well now and we were almost to Ha Noi. I didn't care how twisted and uncomfortable I felt sitting on that bus, I was finally getting some real heavy duty sleep- yessss!

It was after 8am when suddenly I heard screaming and felt the bus sway and swerve very hard. I opened one eye and took a peek because I was a little confused about where I was and what I listening to- what's going on now? I couldn't really understand it all so I opened both eyes and stared in disbelief! All I could see was Scott's face in total panic trying to open the door and all the women practically climbing on top of him- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!! I just couldn't understand it! I saw the bus driver still trying to either park the bus or avoid a crash? Maybe we were getting ambushed by someone? It seemed like an eternity by the time Scott got the door open (that door wasn't opening at all from the inside so I don't know how he got it opened actually) and everyone flew out in a stampede. I sat there still a little confused while the men tried to drag me out- wait, what's going on?!?! CHAY! DI! NHANH! CHAY! DI DI DI! huh? THE BUS IS ON FIRE! GET OUT!- I hear Hannah translate!

OH!!! Well holy shit, since you put it that way!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! I jumped the hell outta there like my tail was already on fire! I ran back to grab my backpack which had all my important papers and money! Dung tried to drag me back and I pulled away- HELL NO I'm not going out like this! I need my documentation!! I reached in for the backpack and I saw smoke billow out from the inside driver's side and the hood of the car and thought- it looks more like it might be the radiator but the bus driver wasn't buying it. He was frantic, still hollering at everyone to please go inside the nearest building. He and Dung ran back and forth grabbing luggage and tossing bags out as far as they could, then running away and doing this over and over until the bus was empty. The driver also tried to jack the jug of clean drinking water from the house we were in front of to drench the bus but the owner refused. Then the owner came out with a giant metal bowl of water and threw it into the driver's side.

By that time I was hysterical- laughing my ass off like you couldn't believe!!! I couldn't even breathe, I was laughing so hard!! AND I'M STILL LAUGHING! I couldn't believe this- the bus wasn't going to blow up, people! This driver was nuts!! I told Anh, I'm pretty sure it's because the ac has been on all night and the radiator probably needs some water. That didn't look like smoke. It looked more like steam. But I just couldn't stop laughing- OMG! The scene was so comical, you just had to be there! The driver was in such a panic, begging the foreigners to get into the house, DI, DI he kept saying and running back and forth like a headless chicken!

My laughter finally infected the rest of the group and everyone began to laugh- mostly making fun of the bus driver and the way he had jumped out of the bus hollering, tossing things out, and begging people to run and hide because we were going to explode. TDO! What chaos and what a mess!! There was now mud everywhere, our luggage was muddy, things were broken including my bag's wheel (I just have the worst luck with luggage I swear! Glad I didn't bring my new luggage, whew!), the bus was soaking wet, and some of the women were a little shaken up. I just could NOT STOP LAUGHING!

The driver runnin amok and begging people to take shelter immediately! This was on about his 5th trip to/fro the bus unloading luggage and tossing water around. All of this happened in a matter of minutes but it felt like a long time.

You can see a water bottle at the back end of the bus and the pan under the sign- both were used to keep the bus from BLOWING UP and killing us all, hahahaha!

Some of the luggage that got tossed from the bus- good save bus driver, good save!!

Everyone watching the bus driver RISK HIS LIFE in lifting the hood of the bus to take a look at the damage. There was nothing. It only needed some water and we were just fine!

Here some of the folks were still getting over the panic of everything or cleaning the mud off of our things.

This woman was my laughing partner- she immediately reenacted the scene and was teasing the bus driver- DI DI, XE CHAY, DIIIIII!!!!

After all of the craziness, the bus driver turned on the bus and waited a bit after adding some water and checking things out. The bus was juuuuust fine! We loaded up our muddy bags and crawled back into our seats. NOW CAN WE PLEEEEASE GET TO HA NOI? I was just laughing so hard. Di, di, xe chay, xe chay I kept saying and everyone was cracking up. At least the rest of the way had some great laughs. We arrived into Ha Noi around 30minutes later and stopped for An Sang! Breakfast- which is usually pho! It was soooo humid! Ugh! Cao Bang was freezing compared to this weather, blah! I had a bit of Chuyen's pho just to taste it but I was in no mood to eat hot soup in hot weather. Anh didn't eat either and said because she was scared- I think she meant she still hadn't gotten over her "susto" hahaha. I laughed some more about the whole bus on fire and sleeping in the middle of the road and made others laugh. I tell you, there is humor in everything- and that's the only thing I'm dead serious about, haha.

After our pho stop we loaded up again and finally, yes finally we headed more into the center of town to find our hotel- YAY!!! Of course the bus driver took forever and a day to get through the streets and as we got closer to the French Quarter he went up and down the streets in a zigzag to make sure he found the place, instead of getting directions. I spotted the hotel and Scott guided the driver to the front but he drove past it. We opened the door and jumped out- that's how slow he was going! YAY, we made it! It was 10am, we made it and we lived to tell about it! Dung and Anh helped us get our luggage down and we said goodbye ( we plan to meet with Anh later this weekend before she leaves to Ho Chi Minh City where she lives). We checked into our rooms, cranked up the ac, and were passed out by 1030am. WOW what a wrap up to our Cao Bang visit and what a ride that was to Ha Noi! .....I LOVED IT!!!