Where are we going next?

Good Morning!!!

It is after 11am here on July 7th in Ha Noi. Scott and I slept in late, had breakfast at 8am and will probably go out into the streets in our pj's (we are out of clean clothes and waiting to get our laundry done) to wander around the area. We have no idea where in the city we are but Scott is pretty sure we are in the French Quarter of Ha Noi.

We left Hai Phong and arrived in Ha Noi yesterday evening in the rain. Our driver drove circles around a few blocks to ensure that we would be lost and disoriented before finding our hotel. He did a great job! We checked in quickly, threw our bags in the room, used the restroom, and ran back down to meet Anh, Huong and a man named Dung (pronounced 'zoom') to head off for a late meeting over dinner.

This meeting was more relaxed as it took place AFTER that conference in Hai Phong. Prior to this the meetings were stressful and involved lots of people. It was nice to finally get some down time with the two women Anh and Huong who have made all of the teaching arrangements happen for us here in Viet Nam. Although we were all exhausted from the long drive and Huong from her full day of work and meetings, we had a very pleasant time.

What was the meeting about? Well it was mostly to discuss the plan for the organization to raise funds and continue supporting the Deaf across Viet Nam. Soooooooooooo- if you have any ideas or ways you can directly support this organization do jump in and let us know so we can connect you with these awesome women!

Now a major part of the fundraising plan that these women have in mind involves keeping Scott and I here in Viet Nam until DECEMBER!!!!! Yes, they want us to stay and this is serious! They have been asking us to consider it since July 2nd after the press conference. It was funny at first but then we realized these women were serious. They really appreciate that Scott has been so willing to do live interviews and give speeches about deafness, the importance of language and education, and sharing his own story and connection to Viet Nam. They NEED us to stay!! What was our response last night??? Well I think I'll leave you hanging for now.... and some of you know me by now so you can see how tempting this invite is but of course there is lots to consider. Doesn't that just blow your mind though? The thought of just giving up a somewhat comfortable life to rough-it over in another place that is unfamiliar but just as inspiring when doing the work you love- supporting the community and teaching people how to advocate for themselves in whatever they need to do to survive and learn to thrive??????

For those of you who took that MAS course with me and were asked to define what "yearn" meant to us- this would be my definition- this very feeling of having the choice to stay or leave, to take risks unknown or go back to a well-known pattern of living, to run off and give it all I've got or go back and give it all I've got in a place that is more stable and secure.... eeeek, I shriek with the feeling of excitement, fear, and anxiety at the thought of the possibilities and the thought of returning to america to sleep in my nice safe room...What a choice! What should we do? As I said, I'll leave you hanging ;o)

Now where are we going next? Well Carly and Karyna are set to arrive on July 13th. Our plan now is to go up to Cao Bang (roughly pronounced "kawbun") Province near the Viet/Chinh Border where there are many villages of ethnic minorities. I'm learning that the Vietnamese are the Kinh and even though everyone is generally labeled Vietnamese by others outside of the country, there are very distinct groups of people here with various dialects and languages. I liken it to Mexico where everyone is considered Mexican outside of the country but within, there are many indigenous groups with their own languages. The Provinces could be considered states with major cities being their capitals. So we are staying here in Ha Noi until Thursday which is in 2days to wait for Anh and Dung to arrange the travel plans for Scott and I. We will head out to Cao Bang Province on Thursday by bus which will take us approximately 7 hours. Dung is from the area and is preparing for us to teach the deaf and disabled there. I'm not sure exactly where we'll be or if we will have internet. We have been told that the living standards will be different and perhaps we will not have internet or coffee (my drug is the former and Scott's is the latter) while we are there. I'm excited!!!

This entire trip has been one mindblowing experience after another! Although the road trips are long, super uncomfortable, and bad on the legs and back, I cannot get enough of the sights I see and the thoughts I think as we pass along fields and jungles and cities and markets and traffic and weather and all of the people I see along the way. I wish sometimes we wouldn't drive so fast because there are so many pictures I've attempted to take that are just a big blur. There are so many sights and smells and sounds that peak my curiosity, remind me of a story, or pierce my soul with sadness or anger or desperation or simple joy. I can't tell you enough that in general the people in Viet Nam have such a spirit and great sense of love, endurance, and compassion about them. I haven't seen anyone get angry yet- not like I've seen anger in the US. Sometimes I'm just watching and I hear in my head the description of what I see in Spanish- the words to describe what I see sound much better to me in Spanish than in English in my head and I'm not that great at Spanish but I just feel their strength better, if that makes any sense.

And then there are funny and cute moments and I remember what my step-dad would always say to sights unfamiliar that made him laugh or stare in awe- para todo hay gente, for everything there is people- not the other way around. It's true, everywhere! But the strength of the people I see here stands out the most- Street vendors on the sides of freeways sitting all day trying to make a sale. I wonder if every one of them makes at least ONE SALE everyday. I hope so.

I have a story that came to mind yesterday as I saw woman after woman, mostly older women as in over 40, sitting along the freeway on our way into Ha Noi trying to sell what looked like guavas. I remembered this one time my brother Esteban needed shoes and my mother said we were going to have a yard sale to buy him the shoes he needed. We woke up early that Saturday morning and set up anything we could find to sell- old clothes, old toys, whatever we had at the time which wasn't much. My mother always treated us to the park in the evenings- it was something we all enjoyed that she didn't have to pay for- Cutler Park. We set up shop and waited for people to come by. We were out there allllll day and people came and went but no one wanted our junk. We were on a mission that morning to raise enough money to get my little brother some new shoes at Payless. He really needed them. He was growing so fast at that time, the poor kid was forced to wear old clothes and tight shoes until they were worn to the sole. As the day went by I saw my mother look more and more disappointed. I remember always trying to keep my siblings busy to keep them from noticing the hardships but I was old enough to know. Someone finally bought something toward the afternoon but I'm sure it wasn't more than a buck. I didn't say much but I knew my mother was crushed- I felt it! We all gathered up our things and put them away. My mother still took us to Cutler Park even though I knew she wasn't up to playing at the park. I took my younger brother and sister over to the swings and we played. I entertained them with one eye on my mother as she walked around the park. Sometimes I felt she might just jump the cliff because she couldn't take it anymore (In her later years she has admitted those thoughts of giving up and taking us out of our misery- I'm glad she choose to keep going) so I always had my eye on her. She came around the park and sat at the picnic tables. I played with my siblings, chasing them around and chatting with them about nothing at all. Suddenly my mother was up and walking over to the swings- it was muddy, probably because of the sprinklers- and digging in the mud underneath the swings. What was she doing?!?! She was tearful and I was afraid. I didn't know if she was crying because she had finally gone mad or if she was laughing and crying or what. She was digging in the mud- I thought she had finally reached her end of the rope! She turned around and yelled for us to come look- we ran over and there in her hands was a pair of muddy little boy shoes just my brother's size, like NEW! We ran over to a faucet and I watched my mother wash out the thick mud from inside and rinse them clean. We sat my brother on the picnic and tried them on- PERFECT!!!! We were all so happy! My mother said immediately that she was sorry for being upset with god, as she griped about not selling enough at the yardsale and had been disappointed that god had not provided for her as she had asked. I just remember feeling so relieved that another day had passed and we had survived! My brother now had his new pair of shoes and things were going to be ok, at least for that day and for my brother to attend school. That's how we survived though- one day at a time, living by the grace of god as my mom viewed it. I see that for myself I have survived on the credit of good people around me, pushing and sometimes dragging me through rough times. I believe strongly that we must always pay it forward- must must must!!! It eventually comes around again anyway, I'm sure of it- I promise.

But it is the images of these women on the side of the street that remind me to appreciate my own hardships and not be shameful or angry, to validate my family's strong will to survive, and to support my community's strength to thrive. It happens everywhere. Somewhere right now there are people flying in their private jets to spend tons of money on something that may seem super ridiculous where somewhere else someone is feeling the lowest of lows, body aching from carrying loads on their shoulders so unimaginably heavy only to end the day without a sale and wondering how she might feed her family for the day.

Will I stay in Viet Nam or will I return to America? -that's a tough one!